7 Reasons Why You Should Boycott Gay Pride If You Want A Relationship And Live A Normal Life

When did Gay Pride stop becoming a celebration and start becoming a spectacle? If it were not for the "Equality for All" signs, I might have confused the event for Carnival and not Gay Pride 2011 on Miami Beach.

After all, the street played host to tanned bodies with painted faces, fake breasts the size of beach balls, and impressive swimsuit bulges, both authentic and altered.

There were enough condoms to shower the entire crowd and enough glitter to blind Stevie Wonder. As a healthy gay professional, I began to consider the reasons why gays should boycott Gay Pride.

1. Mockery. Gay Pride is the most visible gay event in a lot of cities. It does not present positive or serious images of gay men. While it is nice to have fun, Pride does little to garner respect for gay people by society. Perhaps there should be a place for rowdy festivities and a separately broadcast occasion where gays can celebrate tastefully.

2. Stereotypes Reinforced. Gays deserve the chance to make social strides that strengthen their collective reputation in the world. Instead, Pride perpetuates negative stereotypes of gay men as well as obsession of body image and sexual promiscuity.

3. Hypersexualization. The parade and events only fortify the idea that if you are a gay man, your sexuality is the crux of your identity. At a booth along the beach, men were selling, besides lube, a spray to prevent the spread of herpes. The product implied not only a gullible audience, but also a raunchy, sexually crazed one for those at Pride.

4. Stunted Progress. What legislator in her right mind is going to think gay men standing in the streets in too-small underwear should deserve any special rights? I feel being scantily clad symbolizes narcissism more than dignity for a history or a passion for social progress. What kind of homage would be paid to Martin Luther King, Jr. if for Black History Month, African Americans ran streets in thongs, booty shaking for beads?

5. Social alienation. We are all people, yet Pride divides the gay community from mainstream society in drastic, detrimental ways. How are non-gay people supposed to relate to or sympathize with sexual caricatures sucking dildos? Pride should sponsor events that have a more universal appeal, revered and shared with many sects of society.

6. Cliques. The roles of twink, jock, bear, daddy, etc. all become more obvious and isolating. I found the separation by body type made meeting people outside my physique near impossible. Mostly, men posed, and it was too intimidating to approach them.

7. Lost Purpose. What is the aim of The Gay Pride? If not to connect with other gays, make social progress, or bask in an earned appreciation for a minority, what is achieved?

As a float of oiled, half nude teenagers passed, a woman strolled her child into view, gazing at the parade. I couldn't help but imagine what the outsider was thinking. Surely she was not impressed or inspired by the dehumanized men and women rubbing their nipple rings and flossing their backsides. Gay men, we need to prioritize how we want to be represented and respectfully treated by the world. Save the circus antics for Carnival.

Recent research shows that 58% of gay men who are single develop depression, gain weight and many end up HIV positive - all as a result of being single.

Paul Angelo, gay health, dating and relationship coach has a solution for you. But you need to take action today. Visit http://www.paulangelo.com/ before its too late.

View the original article here

What Gay Men Should Expect From Relationships

Some gay men put up with a lot in their relationships. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers.

Ouch.

Here's what I find most concerning. Some gay men don't feel they have a right to be upset about these behaviors. They'll ask me why they feel so jealous and how can I help them let go of their jealousy. They think that the gay community believes in sexual freedom and it isn't cool or manly to object to their partner's sexual behavior.

In other words, they feel shame for experiencing hurt by the actions of their long-term partners.

Heterosexual couples get plenty of social support for treating their partners with respect when it comes to sex. Outrage is the typical social response when friends are told about poor relationship behavior among straight people. When gay men tell the same heartbreaking stories they are less likely to get a big response. Gay relationships are not given the same level of validity.

I'm not making an argument here for monogamy in gay men's long-term relationships. Men can have open relationships and still treat each other with great care and consideration. Gay men have led the way on redefining what defines a caring open relationship. Check out my blog entry entitled "Gay Men and Open Relationships: What Works?" for more on that position.

The point I am making is that if you feel jealous about your partner's sexual behaviors with other men, you need to validate those feelings. Those feelings are common and normal and deserve respect from both you and your partner.

There is plenty of research in psychology to back up the theory that an important reason we enter into relationships is to heal some of the old wounds we experienced in our earliest relationships with our parents, siblings, and peers. If your family had trouble providing you with emotional support as a child then one of the best ways you can heal from that loss is to experience deep emotional support from your adult partner. Most people are really hungry for this experience.

Couples that don't acknowledge that their relationship needs plenty of care, conversation, and consensus will hurt each other. Rather than helping to heal old wounds, these relationships just keep reinjuring. Psychotherapists call this "attachment wounding."

If your friends are telling you that you are putting up with too much from your boyfriend, it's often a sign that you are in a "codependent" position in your relationship. Codependence can be defined as compulsively taking care of other people rather than taking care of ourselves.

Here's the very least you should expect from your partner:

• Your partner should apologize when he discovers that he dropped you emotionally. Maybe not right away, but eventually.

• Your partner should not be harshly criticizing you, teasing you, or putting you down. If he does this occasionally he should be sincerely apologizing after each incident.

• Your partner should never hit you. Period.

• Being drunk is not an excuse for mean behavior.

• You deserve kindness from your partner. Not at every single moment, but on a regular weekly basis. This is really the whole point of being in a relationship.

If this topic resonated with you might want to check out the classic book on codependency: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

If you are tolerating unkind behavior then I urge you seriously reevaluate your relationship. Seek out individual or couples counseling if you need help in making the changes to create supportive, healthy relationships.

Adam D. Blum, MFT is a San Francisco psychotherapist specializing in relationship and self-esteem issues for gay men. He writes a blog on these topics at http://gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/blog. Adam can be reached at 415-255-4266 or on his website at http://www.gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/.

View the original article here

What Gay Men Should Expect From Relationships

Some gay men put up with a lot in their relationships. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers.

Ouch.

Here's what I find most concerning. Some gay men don't feel they have a right to be upset about these behaviors. They'll ask me why they feel so jealous and how can I help them let go of their jealousy. They think that the gay community believes in sexual freedom and it isn't cool or manly to object to their partner's sexual behavior.

In other words, they feel shame for experiencing hurt by the actions of their long-term partners.

Heterosexual couples get plenty of social support for treating their partners with respect when it comes to sex. Outrage is the typical social response when friends are told about poor relationship behavior among straight people. When gay men tell the same heartbreaking stories they are less likely to get a big response. Gay relationships are not given the same level of validity.

I'm not making an argument here for monogamy in gay men's long-term relationships. Men can have open relationships and still treat each other with great care and consideration. Gay men have led the way on redefining what defines a caring open relationship. Check out my blog entry entitled "Gay Men and Open Relationships: What Works?" for more on that position.

The point I am making is that if you feel jealous about your partner's sexual behaviors with other men, you need to validate those feelings. Those feelings are common and normal and deserve respect from both you and your partner.

There is plenty of research in psychology to back up the theory that an important reason we enter into relationships is to heal some of the old wounds we experienced in our earliest relationships with our parents, siblings, and peers. If your family had trouble providing you with emotional support as a child then one of the best ways you can heal from that loss is to experience deep emotional support from your adult partner. Most people are really hungry for this experience.

Couples that don't acknowledge that their relationship needs plenty of care, conversation, and consensus will hurt each other. Rather than helping to heal old wounds, these relationships just keep reinjuring. Psychotherapists call this "attachment wounding."

If your friends are telling you that you are putting up with too much from your boyfriend, it's often a sign that you are in a "codependent" position in your relationship. Codependence can be defined as compulsively taking care of other people rather than taking care of ourselves.

Here's the very least you should expect from your partner:

• Your partner should apologize when he discovers that he dropped you emotionally. Maybe not right away, but eventually.

• Your partner should not be harshly criticizing you, teasing you, or putting you down. If he does this occasionally he should be sincerely apologizing after each incident.

• Your partner should never hit you. Period.

• Being drunk is not an excuse for mean behavior.

• You deserve kindness from your partner. Not at every single moment, but on a regular weekly basis. This is really the whole point of being in a relationship.

If this topic resonated with you might want to check out the classic book on codependency: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

If you are tolerating unkind behavior then I urge you seriously reevaluate your relationship. Seek out individual or couples counseling if you need help in making the changes to create supportive, healthy relationships.

Adam D. Blum, MFT is a San Francisco psychotherapist specializing in relationship and self-esteem issues for gay men. He writes a blog on these topics at http://gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/blog. Adam can be reached at 415-255-4266 or on his website at http://www.gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/.

View the original article here

What Gay Men Should Expect From Relationships

Some gay men put up with a lot in their relationships. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers.

Ouch.

Here's what I find most concerning. Some gay men don't feel they have a right to be upset about these behaviors. They'll ask me why they feel so jealous and how can I help them let go of their jealousy. They think that the gay community believes in sexual freedom and it isn't cool or manly to object to their partner's sexual behavior.

In other words, they feel shame for experiencing hurt by the actions of their long-term partners.

Heterosexual couples get plenty of social support for treating their partners with respect when it comes to sex. Outrage is the typical social response when friends are told about poor relationship behavior among straight people. When gay men tell the same heartbreaking stories they are less likely to get a big response. Gay relationships are not given the same level of validity.

I'm not making an argument here for monogamy in gay men's long-term relationships. Men can have open relationships and still treat each other with great care and consideration. Gay men have led the way on redefining what defines a caring open relationship. Check out my blog entry entitled "Gay Men and Open Relationships: What Works?" for more on that position.

The point I am making is that if you feel jealous about your partner's sexual behaviors with other men, you need to validate those feelings. Those feelings are common and normal and deserve respect from both you and your partner.

There is plenty of research in psychology to back up the theory that an important reason we enter into relationships is to heal some of the old wounds we experienced in our earliest relationships with our parents, siblings, and peers. If your family had trouble providing you with emotional support as a child then one of the best ways you can heal from that loss is to experience deep emotional support from your adult partner. Most people are really hungry for this experience.

Couples that don't acknowledge that their relationship needs plenty of care, conversation, and consensus will hurt each other. Rather than helping to heal old wounds, these relationships just keep reinjuring. Psychotherapists call this "attachment wounding."

If your friends are telling you that you are putting up with too much from your boyfriend, it's often a sign that you are in a "codependent" position in your relationship. Codependence can be defined as compulsively taking care of other people rather than taking care of ourselves.

Here's the very least you should expect from your partner:

• Your partner should apologize when he discovers that he dropped you emotionally. Maybe not right away, but eventually.

• Your partner should not be harshly criticizing you, teasing you, or putting you down. If he does this occasionally he should be sincerely apologizing after each incident.

• Your partner should never hit you. Period.

• Being drunk is not an excuse for mean behavior.

• You deserve kindness from your partner. Not at every single moment, but on a regular weekly basis. This is really the whole point of being in a relationship.

If this topic resonated with you might want to check out the classic book on codependency: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

If you are tolerating unkind behavior then I urge you seriously reevaluate your relationship. Seek out individual or couples counseling if you need help in making the changes to create supportive, healthy relationships.

Adam D. Blum, MFT is a San Francisco psychotherapist specializing in relationship and self-esteem issues for gay men. He writes a blog on these topics at http://gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/blog. Adam can be reached at 415-255-4266 or on his website at http://www.gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/.

View the original article here

7 Reasons why you should boycott Gay Pride relationships and live a normal life

When Gay Pride stop becoming a celebration and run, becoming the spectacle? In the absence of "Equality for all" characters, and may have mistaken the event Carnival and Gay Pride 2011 Miami Beach.

Nonetheless, the street has played host to tanned bodies with painted faces, fake breasts the size of beach balls and impressive swimsuit bulges, authentic and changed.

Was sufficient condoms to shower the whole crowd and sufficiently glitter blind Stevie Wonder. I started as a healthy professional gay men consider the reasons why gays should boycott Gay Pride.

1. Mockery. Gay Pride is the most visible gay events in many cities. Do not create a positive and serious image of gays. While it's nice to source of fun, pride is not much gain respect for gay people by society. Perhaps there should be a place for rowdy celebrations and broadcast opportunities where gays separately, you can celebrate tastefully.

2. reinforced Stereotypes. Gays deserve's social, which has become strengthening their collective reputation in the world. Instead, it perpetuates negative stereotypes of the pride, lesbians, and body image Obsession, and sexual promiscuity.

3. Hypersexualization. Parada and incidents, only the extraction step (5.2) the idea that if a man is gay, your sexuality is the crux of your identity. Booth along the beach, the men sold in addition to lube, adding prevention of the spread of occurring. Product implied warranties not only the gullible audience but also raunchy, sexually crazed one for those in the Pride.

4. Stunted progress. What the legislator had her right mind's going to think gay men standing on the streets too small linen should deserve any special rights? I have the impression that she is scantily clad symbolizes narcissism over dignity of history or a passion for social progress. What kind of tribute was paid to the Martin Luther King, Jr., for Black History Month, African Americans ran the streets in the Strip, booty shaking beads?

5. Social taxes. We are all people even Gay Pride split from mainstream society in drastic, damaging methods. As a non-gay should relate to or sympathize with the sexual caricatures on dildos? Pride should sponsor events to a more universal appeal, revered, and together with the many sects of society.

6. the corruption. Roles of twink, jock, Niedzwiedz, daddy, etc. all are becoming more obvious and isolating. I found the separation by type of meeting people outside my physique almost impossible. Mostly posed for men and was too intimidating to approach them.

7. the Lost to. What is the purpose of Pride Gay? If you do not connect to other gay men, to make social progress or enjoy an earned recognition for minorities, which is achieved?

How to float massive star, half-nude teens has passed, the woman strolled its child view, gazing at the parade. I couldn't help but imagine what outsider was thinking. Certainly wasn't impressed or inspired men and women dehumanized, bruising damage during their nipple rings and flossing their backsides. Gay men, we have to prioritize what we want to be represented and kindly treated by the world. With the exception of the antics circus Carnival.

Recent research indicates that 58% of gay men who are individual develop depression, growth, and many end up HIV positive-all with a single.

Paul Angelo, gay health coach, updating and relationship has a solution for you. However, you must act today. Visit http://www.paulangelo.com/, before its too late.

View the original article here