Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Do Gay Couples Need Marriage Counseling Too?

Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It lights up your soul and makes everything look perfect.

On the flip-side, love also hurts. A lot. It can be magical but it can also be unbearably hard. Even if you are already in committed relationship and don't need to worry if your love is reciprocated, there are so many circumstances and obstacles that can make your life together a living hell. If you are in a same sex relationship, the same rules apply, of course, but, unfortunately, you have the added pressure from a still very prejudiced society to deal with.

Marriage is supposed to be a very wanted and cherished bond between two people that love each other unconditionally. In the moment you tie the knot, Love is there, and you know you are changing your life a great deal. You'll be sharing the same space and material possessions, trying to fit in each others' circle of family and friends and dividing responsibilities and decisions for the rest of your lives, among other things. This is nothing like dating is it? It's about working each day with your spouse in a loving, tolerant and compromising way. The thing is sometimes you are both challenged with situations that are just too overwhelming. Too much pain or too many bad memories are involved. When you get to the point when your relationship is on a self destructive spiral, you need to figure out if your problems can be resolved or if it's actually the end of the road. If you are not ready to quit and are determined to fight for your relationship, by all means, you should look for outside help.

Counseling is one of the tools you have available to heal your shattered relationship. First of all, you must find a therapist. Not just anyone, but someone with which you can relate to and feel comfortable with and arrange a way to have a session a week, for example. This is a determinant step in the right direction. You'll be:

On unbiased ground: you'll know the therapist is not there to take sides, instead he will hear you both and try to work out your differences;

Taking advantage of a professional and objective perspective: you're both too involved in the problem to look at it properly - the therapist will do that for you, giving you a clearer, more objective view of things;

Releasing your negative vibes: you'll be able to vent your feelings and frustrations in a friendly environment, without fear;

Analyzing your reactions: you'll discover what triggers your anger and other hurtful feelings towards each other;

Learning how to deal with negative and stressful situations;

Setting goals regarding what you need to accomplish and to work on;

Doing homework to complement each session;

Working with a qualified, understanding person on making your marriage/partnership stronger.

It's also very important that you try to focus in resolving the issues at hand and don't get fixated on past mistakes. You need to forgive yourself and your partner in order to go forward. Remember: you want to heal the wounds and not scratch them open. You love this person and he/she loves you. That is the most important requirement needed for a life together. You're one of the lucky ones if you have true love in your life.

Visit a friendly LGBT Church Los Angeles. The Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena offers support and assistance to the LGBT community. More than a gay church Los Angeles - it's a church for everyone.


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Gay Marriages Are Legal But They May Not Be Easy, And LGBT Relationship Counseling May Help

If you've been paying attention to the news, you already know that New York recently approved same-sex marriages for gay couples in the Empire State. Laws were passed and signed that allow gay people in New York to have all the same rights and responsibilities as straight people.

Meanwhile in California, the LGBTQ community are waiting for a decision from the U.S. Supreme Court. The decision was difficult for the state supreme court and is now being settled on a federal level, leaving the homosexual community in the Golden State in limbo for the time being. Hopefully soon Californians will enjoy the same level of freedoms and be able to pursue happy marriages with their partners.

But legalizing marriage is just part of it. Same sex marriage and relationships in the LGBT community are very similar to heterosexual marriage and relationships. As such they should be taken seriously by all those involved. Once we enter marriage, we enter into a contract, which has certain responsibilities.

In times past gays and homosexuals would live with a partner and not be required to bother with marital responsibilities. If one partner got angry or dissatisfied, then they could leave and be out of it with little issue. This is not so within marriage.

This is why it's so important to look into what it takes to make good, lasting relationships. We should consider what it takes to make a relationship work like compromise. What is it like to be in a relationship where you may not always get your own way? Many times people in relationships feel that they are giving 90% and only getting 10%.

These are the issues that the gay community must be concerned with, knowing that relationships take work and are a lot of responsibility. Additionally, it can be even more challenging for the LGBT community because of the discrimination and the negative attitudes held by members of the public. These are things which straight people don't have to worry about. There are also issues with trying to form a family and have children.

Another factor in the LGBTQ community is domestic violence. It does happen in the gay community. The core of all of this is the need and desire to be loved, and out of that there's raw feelings and emotions, and sometimes it leads to domestic violence. Unfortunately, sometimes the victims stay in a bad relationship or bad situation because of an overwhelming need to be loved. They may try to work it though even though it may not be the best option.

That's why it's time for the gay community to get serious about how they treat their partners. It's time to have a public discourse and establish what it means to have a caring and loving, long-lasting relationship. The LGBT community should consider what it means to be in a committed, monogamous relationship and how to make it work for both partners in a healthy way.

Here's to a successful and happy relationship between you and your loving partner.

Visit the friendly Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena. The Good Shepherd Church offers support and assistance to the LGBT community. More than a gay friendly church in Los Angeles- it's a church for everyone.


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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Interracial Gay Dating in Our Society Today

What is our society's stand on interracial gay couples? Exactly where is the fascination originating from? Is the attraction of gay men toward men of a different race simply an act of defiance? Is it simply wanting to break free from the social norms?

Humankind has already improved considerably. Nowadays, a lot of people around the globe have already tolerated two gay guys in a relationship. There are still a lot of people out there who oppose it and call it an abomination. The important thing is there is support. Our people have hoped for change a long time ago. Change came. A difference is still going to come.

Nowadays, we are allowed to love. Who is to tell that a guy should not be in love with another man but any other man can fall in love with any woman he wants?And who is to tell that guys who are from two different cultures cannot love one another while straight males and females can? Marriage between gay people is now accepted in more areas. Like gender, race does not matter much. A gay man can break norms and pursue a relationship with a man of a different race. He can spread his wings and fly across oceans to search for the one his heart desires, even if he is from many miles away, on the other half of the earth. The days are over when who we like and love is up to society. Now, we are free to listen to our heart. And if our freedom is trampled upon, we can consistently stand by it. Interracial relationships between gay men may always cause commotion but they are left to do just that. We can all hope that someday all of us will reside in a world with no misgiving, regret, embarrassment and animosity.

What is the root of the attraction? The answer is, the attraction should not even be questioned. The attraction among two different races should not be considered as out-of-this-world. It is quite natural to be attracted to our opposites and race should not be not an issue at all. Although, cultural differences can be an issue, we should not give much consideration to the race of the person we like. We are either attracted to a person or we are not. Race is beside the point to people in love.

Attraction between gay men of different ethnic backgrounds is certainly not an act of spite. It is more than longing to be break away from the constricting grips of society. Love is all-embracing. It is so colossal we sometimes do not realize its worth. Love should lead us to the right path because what the eyes cannot see, the heart sees. Our horizons should be limitless.People are into people and the color of the skin and sexual orientation mean very little or nothing at all.

We must accept our dissimilarities and glorify our multiplicity so we can all be unified. We are all children of the Earth. We are all of this world. We draw in the same air. We enjoy the same sun. We may not share the same color of the skin, but we have one human heart that beats inside us all.

http://adultsblogging.com/sex-knows-no-language/

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Coming Out to Your Parents

Science, the church, and even the government have been trying to come up with an explanation on how gays become gays. But for most homosexuals, this state is inborn and they believe that they do not have to adjust anything about themselves since everything that they are has been set. People, specifically straight conservative ones, wonder why gays "multiply by the second". It is their knowledge that gay people cannot in fact "give birth", then why do gay communities grow so fast? And no one can seem to stop this growth. This is happening because more and more gays are now coming out of their closets. Depending on the personality, gay people either rush out of the closet or try to find the 'perfect' time first, considering the people around specially their parents.

There are several questions that gay people consider before coming out to their parents. Like "Will my mom and pop accept the "real" me?" "What would be their reaction?" "Would they disown me?" or "What changes would occur when I come out?" These are just a few of the queries that alarms their thoughts and all of which are difficult to find answers unless they actually do the 'confession'. It might be a normal initial reaction for parents to either get surprised or shocked or even get angry when they hear the admission. Coming out to parents is just the start. And as time passes by, people would recognize how brave a gay person is by admitting their sexuality. These tips are in general and would definitely be a case to case basis. Equipping one's self with the information that the parents would need to hear when coming out of the closet would also be very helpful. But until then, try these tips when you are ready to tell your parents what they really need to know about you.

Tip number 1: Know who you are really close to. Some would say that mothers are more open to this kind of situation. However, it would really be of great help if you open up to which parent you are closer, so as to have a more comfortable talk.

Tip number 2: Make the atmosphere light yet steady. Try not to over introduce your confession. Some become very nervous and they tend to talk way too much until it goes out of hand or it becomes awkward, go straight to the point. Maybe having some wine with the parent (or parents if you are equally close to both) would help ease the tension.

Tip number 3: Do not involve anyone else, like a sibling or a friend. Having someone else with you when coming out to parents will build up stiffness and it might make your parent or parents anticipate more and more until they become anxious. You do not need any other emotions lurking when speaking about your issue.

Tip number 4: Do give them some assurance that being gay is not becoming a different person. It's just relaying your real emotions towards relationships and certain choices.

Tip number 5: If and when you are done with your speech and your parents' reaction is on the negative side, do not try pushing too hard, let them take their time to absorb what you have just said. On the other hand, if their reaction is on a positive note, thanking them is not enough, let them know that you really appreciate that they understand you.

Author: Roger Stewart "Taste My Rainbow."


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Same Sex Couples Can Avoid Unnecessary Problems By Getting These Documents In Order Now

Don't let the state decide your fate.

Recently a 37 year-old woman died of cancer and her life partner was left with a legal battle over her assets with the surviving family. This could have been avoided entirely by simply filling out a single legal form.

Most people don't want to think about estate planning, wills, beneficiaries, and LGBT and same sex couples fail to plan for the future to avoid nightmarish scenarios like life partners being denied visitation access in a hospital during one dying partner's last moments on Earth by the sick partner's family. Could you think of anything worse than being turned away at the hospital to see the love of your life while they are passing?

This could happen in a state where gay marriage is not recognized, but it could happen in any state where two same-sex partners are not prepared. Some states offer domestic partnerships to same-sex couples and several states have made it completely legal.

The states that allow gay marriage are Iowa, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, and Washington. D.C also allows gay marriage. Maryland recognizes out-of-state marriages but has no system for same-sex marriage itself.

The following states have civil unions which afford the same rights as gay marriage states: California, New Jersey, Oregon, Washington, and Nevada.

Since there's a lack of protection for LGBT couples, then they should do what they can to avoid government confiscation of property and assets.

Here's some action steps you can take to avoid a nightmare for yourself or your partner in the event of an accident or death:

Designate a beneficiary. Banks have forms where you can designate where the assets will go. Get a will for your pets. Ensure that any adopted children will be supervised by your surviving partner (if that's what you want) so that they do not become foster children under the state. Get an advanced health care directive from your doctor, which is like a health care power of attorney.

For allocation of real estate, property, and other financial assets, a will or living trust will be necessary.

These are all solutions that gay couples and same-sex couples can use to protect themselves and each other in the event of death or accident. The important thing is that you educate yourself now and make some decisions- get them out of the way, and protect the people you love.

Finally, with important documents, it may seem counterintuitive, but you may not want to put them in a safety deposit box because of the restrictions on accessing one during death or a period of disability for a partner. Get the documents and make copies of them and store the copies in an accessible place. Make digital copies. Then store the originals somewhere safe, with a trusted friend or relative in a safe where your partner knows the combination lock. Also, you can have the attorney who assists you with estate planning hold onto the originals.

Make sure to prepare for the future so that you are in control of your destiny and your partner will be cared for.

Visit a friendly LGBT Church Los Angeles. The Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena offers support and assistance to the LGBT community. More than one of many gay churches Los Angeles - it's a church for everyone.


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Monday, August 29, 2011

Dating Survival Tips for Gay Men

"I don't think there's enough passion between us", "I don't think we are a complete match", "I'm not feeling a click", "I don't think there's enough chemistry on my side", "We're not sexually compatible", "I'm not ready for a relationship", "It's not you; it's me", "I'd like for us to remain friends".

Oh...the perils of dating! We've all been on the giving or receiving end of these statements and it never feels good either way. Sometimes nothing is ever said, and the situation just fades away causing us even more confusion. Dating can be very difficult, especially in the online environments we often find ourselves.

So how do we take care of our personal well-being in dating situations?

Here are some dating survival tips to consider:

1). Date for dating's sake - Get rid of the expectation of finding "the one" and just date. Meet people with the intention of getting to know them and learning about who they are. Avoid getting emotionally caught up too soon. Release the pressure and expectation that this might be "the one" for the long-term.

2). Actions don't necessarily speak louder than words - We've all been told that "actions speak louder than words" but this isn't always so. Be wary of interpreting someone's actions as meaning that they are into you or that they actually want a relationship with you. Some guys may say sweet things, buy you flowers or gifts, treat you to dinner, introduce you to their friends and family or initiate sex as a part of their own dating rituals. These actions may hold no specific meaning to you whatsoever.

3). Have fun - Enjoy the process of dating. Put your best self forward and have fun. You cannot control another person's thoughts, feelings or behaviors. You also can't control the outcome of the experience. You can allow yourself to have fun! Be lighthearted about it all - stay in the moment, enjoy your dates and let go of your attachment to the outcome.

4). Stay focused on your life - Make time to plan activities apart from dating. Remember that dating is only one aspect of your life. Do other things that bring you pleasure and balance your dating life with other important life areas - having a rich full life makes you a very attractive person overall.

5). Learn how to handle rejection - It's never easy to be let down but don't personalize the rejection. Recognize that everyone has their own psychological issues and relationship histories that they bring into dating situations. If someone tells you they don't want to go forward don't make it about you. There can be any number of reasons that caused them to back out, and they probably have absolutely nothing to do with you. If you need to, you can talk about the experience with a friend, therapist or coach to help you to quickly move on.

6). Focus on your well-being - Take care of yourself every day by asking - What can I do to take care of myself today? Perhaps it's exercising, meditating, or going out with friends or family. Do whatever is meaningful to you. Make a commitment to yourself to do something each day that makes you feel good.

Finally, always remember what my grandmother used to say:

"Men are like buses, there is always another one coming"!

Paul is a certified life coach and a licensed therapist. He is a highly sought after coach and consultant within the behavioral healthcare industry, and works with numerous organizations, including Fortune 500, healthcare companies, small businesses, and non-profit organizations.

Paul has always been passionate about personal growth and development, and he loves to explore the possibilities! He enjoys inspiring others to discover their true selves, reach for their goals and dreams and create the life they truly desire.

Paul created and developed Life Solutions for Gay Men as a complete resource to support gay men in their quest for personal development.

Additionally, he also has an extensive background in the performing arts and has studied and applied various techniques throughout the years including Meditation, Progressive Relaxation, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and the Alexander Technique.

http://www.lifesolutionsforgaymen.com/


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Why Are Gay Men Attracted to Men in Uniform?

Most gay men get attracted to men in uniform. This state is actually one type of fetish, just the sight of certain male individuals wearing their work outfits may ignite another person's sexuality. Try imagining guys wearing suits of firemen, lumber jacks, police men, sailors, football players, coast guards, wait staff or butlers, navies, armies, doctors, flight attendants, or prisoners. They stand out in a crowd full of civilians, they attract attention, and are usually head turners. These types of clothing add excitement, enthusiasm, and incitement to gay men. When homosexuals spot these men in work suits, they often get giddy and start plotting on how to chase them.

There are few things that could break down the reasons behind this matter. One basis is it just might have something to do with the idea that most men in some forms of uniform are well groomed. Those clean cuts, shiny boots, perfectly ironed coordinated outfit, smelling clean, and looking neat plus a great mysterious smile and deep dimples. Who would not want to be intimate with a flawless hygienic looking person? Another is that the attire gives a hint of authority, strength, and professionalism. These characteristics would build up the idea of security. Usually, if not most, gay men tend to be feminine and tender, thus making men in work clothes more attractive. It is about the very masculine-protector image and the thought of stability. Men in their uniforms can exude power, sexiness, and manliness.

When it comes to sex, uniforms are the usual costumes used to portray a certain activity. The work clothes display that a man can be a 100% gentleman, but can be very intimate when the uniform is stripped down. It creates anticipation, thus the lust becomes more evident and stronger. The whole black tactical or assault look makes gay men strongly desire the uniformed men to submit themselves or to be submitted to. The naughtiness in bed will increase as both or either of them will take orders from each other. This is one of the most common fantasy they have. It may become extremely dreamy for gay uniform chasers to have sex with a man in work dress. Add to that a well defined body structure but not too muscular, and that will definitely illuminate the desire.

This has become a total turn on to homosexuals and has been very interesting since the early times. The things mentioned above are just a few of the many reasons why. There is no direct or exact explanation as to how or when it all started. All in all, gay men are drawn to men in uniform as a result of a combination of their idealism and fantasies.

Author: Roger Stewart
"Taste My Rainbow."


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Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Lesbian Infatuation - Or Is It Love?

Therapist: "What brings you in today?"

Love Sick Lesbian (LSL): "I can't take it anymore...I love her so much but she plays with my heart..."

Therapist: "Tell me more about this Love."

LSL: "It's been going on for years and I don't know how to get over it... I don't know if this is love or an obsession... or am I just crazy?"

Therapist: "Maybe it's all of the above... mixed in with a little Infatuation."

LSL: "Help me. Can you please help me get over her?"

Funny? It is not meant to be. Everyday I get at least one email from a woman sharing this exact thought process. She is telling me in great detail about a woman sometimes even more than one she cannot let go of and has been holding on for months if not years. It's unimaginable the time and energy we put into our "unforgettable" loves. UNIMAGINABLE, not only in feelings and emotions but sometimes sacrificing other relationships and financial goals.

You could possibly define it as going crazy on some narcotic, and you would not be too far from the truth. Yet, just like a drug we will allow it to consume us until we have reached the very limits of space... until without a doubt we can truly believe there is no hope with that woman. Sometimes that road is endless as glimmers of hope are always within reach, so how do we get over this infatuating toxic relationship?

Infatuation is very different to love and presents itself as feelings that could not possibly be confused with a committed and loving love. When we are infatuated we a filled with feelings ofuncertainty and panic, lust is at full throttle, and excitement overwhelms us, we are impatient and easily ignited into jealousy.

When we are infatuated we are almost in a sense overdosed with love and are having a sever reaction. None of us can say we are happy while in that zone as we are filled with feelings of doubt and mistrust for our "toxic love." We can become so consumed that misery takes over and interferes in other areas of life: work, family, and friends. Often we are overpowered by sexual urges and needs that scream to be fulfilled.

Why do we go crazy? Because when you meet a woman you are attracted too you have a surge of energy that occurs in your brain stimulating the parts that are responsible for feelings of euphoria and forming attachment. However, as nice as this may sound, just like an addict we become tolerant of this energy and start chasing the new high! Some of us jump from one relationship to another. Others create drama (Lesbian Drama Mamas) and self-sabotage to build new highs (Psychodykos), or move on hurt and less trusting than before (Les Runners), only to fall in a similar hole later. See any words you can identify with?

How can we avoid this vicious circle of toxic love? Simple, you have to ride the river towards romantic love. In other words, you have to change the way you express it. We are so eager we get caught up in moments that last months or years. We forget about experiencing the feeling and allowing them to move through us. Instead we hold on and end up suffocating on our feelings and become disillusioned in the end.

Love Sick Diet

Take time to know someone and trust them.Enjoy the moment for what it is "A Moment in Time vs I Want this FOREVER."Always have a supportive environment and use them when in doubt or hurting.Look at yourself. Examine your template of love.Talk to a counselor about co-dependency issues and difficulty with letting go.Most importantly know your worth and believe that it is worth sharing with the right person at the right time and that your "Infatuation" may just not be it (and that's perfectly okay.)

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find each other, learn from one another, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://thelesbianguru.com/! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru


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When Women Love Married Women

A troubling situation that should not be judged too harshly, we are all capable of falling in holes with little room to escape. I will try to be gentle and look at all sides when exploring this subject, and also remembers that it is very different to affairs in heterosexual couples.

It is important not to judge. Our society is so eager to humiliate, cast out, and punish us for our choices rather that teach openness, honesty, and the value of good intentions. We may all be a little healthier if we practice these principles on ourselves and each other.

Women are built to form emotional bounds; it was an intricate part of our survival in prehistorical times. We connect emotionally to each other, due to women having more of the chemical known as oxytocine "the love hormone." That is why affairs affect lesbians very differently to heterosexuals and why there needs to be a different view point taken when understanding affairs between two women. This is not to say that straight people aren't affected by affairs in their marriage, the impact of betrayal on any person regardless of sexual orientation can be devastating and painful.

As much as we would like to look the other way, the two women need to acknowledge that there is an individual being thrown into the affair without knowing or giving consent. When we attempt to manipulate our environment to our advantage where others are unwilling participants the consequences are often "very" ugly to severe. I have heard men tell me "it's one thing for my wife to screw another man but to shame me into screwing a woman that is a whole other story."

There are many reasons why we choose to have affairs; there is the excitement and sense of adventure of having a secret and attempting to control our life. There are also women that need to connect and search for companionship that is lacking in their marriage. Romance and love is something written in story book and seen in cinema, and soon forgotten once in wedlock. The art of courtships has dissipated and the appetite for wild passion is a constant craving. Many couples may have stopped having sex and our living two separate lives in the same house. Other triggers of affairs are one-night stands, opportunity, attention that builds our self-esteem, revenge, escape from everyday life, and of course to end a marriage.

However, the most common type of affair in lesbian extramarital affairs is the "I did not know I was a Lesbian or Bi." Many of us got married because that is what is expected. Most of us grew up begin told that we must meet a nice man that can take care of us. I am only thirty, but I know that crap was shoved in my face from various sources. Not once was I ever even given the opportunity to even contemplate my sexuality, excepted from my mother who was a bisexual hippie herself.

Many of us get married and realize that the life we "choose" is not ours to live; that the one we seek is still wanting for us. Now, does that mean we leave our husband, sadly no. The urge to fulfill other people's expectations is a lot greater for some women that they will continue to live a life of secrets.

Many women won't leave their husbands because of the social repercussions it may have on their lives, financial burdens, and of course because children may be involved. In the end that is a choice that the married woman makes.

What if you are the "other" woman, well you have two choices. First one, you can continue to the affair and wait to see if anything ever changes. Or you can leave. If you decide choice number two than here are some tips on how to break up the affair:

Think about what you're going to say.Meet somewhere public.Tell her there will be ABSOLUTELY no contact. That is the only way to heal.Say good-bye and walk away towards a future that is yours and not controlled by another person's fears.

It will be hard and it will hurt, but it will pass. There may always be some residual pain, but unless you set yourself free from a secret life you will not have room to build a healthy relationship with a woman that is completely ours.

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find each other, learn from one another, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://thelesbianguru.com/! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru.


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Gay Teen Suicides Can Be Prevented With Help From An LGBT Church Or Support Group

Many of the gay teens are committing suicide now a days even though being gay is not a crime. Some of the major problems face by homosexual teens are feeling unloved, unsupported from their home environment, being isolated from groups, friends and families.

The incidents of suicide cases among gay teens are much more as compared to other cases. Many gay teens are often bullied and isolated by other people - also know as gay bashing. This in turn makes them feel lonely, isolated, desperate, etc. It has been noted that many gay teens with unresolved issues go on the wrong path and come under they prey of excessive alcohol, drugs, and other bad habits due to pressures on them.

In previous times gay teens use to hide their identity but now all of them are coming forward and fighting against all the injustice done to them, after all there is nothing wrong and all of them have the right to live.

How do you know you are homosexual? This is the most common question which is mostly asked by youth who are trying to understand their feelings. Just because you are not attracted to the opposite sex doesn't make you gay. Each and every race on earth has varying times for puberty. Some may gain at a very early stage and for some it may take time. For most gay people they start having crushes on people of their same sex orientation in their youth - it can be anyone, either friend, class mate, etc. and it's not your fault - it's merely sexual characteristics.

Homosexuality is not hereditary according to recent statistics - the ratio of gay men among hetero men is 1:10 so it's quite large in number. Homosexuality is not something to be feared or ashamed of, as no one can truly say the character of a man from his sexuality.

The most important and often asked question by many of gay teens are "How do you talk to your parents about being homosexual?" Talking to your parents about homosexuality is very tough task and it's almost near to impossible.

Most of the times gay youths run away from home in fear that their parents will disown them and some teens who go through with it and talk to parents are often isolated by parents and society. Most of the time there is a fight between parents and child which leads to break their relationship.

Many teens in this situation, after being isolated from family and friends just because of their gender base, try to commit suicide. The suicide cases in gay teens are three times more than hetero teens. My tip for gay teens are that things will change and are now changing slowly and steadily. The world is changing, gay teens were considered taboo in the past but now they are being accepted in each and every field.

Whatever you do, just do not lose hope and consider committing suicide because life is very precious. I know it's very difficult to face your parents but it can be done - just try to look straight forward in their eyes and start the topic about your being gay, firstly they would be astonished but try to convince them that it's not your fault - if they understand you they will accept you. Though it may take some time, it is possible to regain your parents' acceptance and love. You must be strong enough to love them and forgive them in the event that they have difficulties with your sexual orientation (this is a life lesson that will make you very strong as a person).

Another question that is asked often is "Why am I gay?" It's not in your control to be gay and neither is it your own fault according to scientists. High level of secretion of testosterone leads to the development of man while high levels of secretion of estrogen and progesterone leads to developing the brain of woman. The secretion of this hormone during prenatal stage may lead to form homosexual tendencies.

Historically, there were many acts against homosexuality in Christianity and many homosexuals were harassed and sentenced to death. But now times have changed, and now Christianity and Christian churches are accepting gay people and there are many a gay friendly church in Europe and the United States.

One of the cities where there is no discrimination is Johannesburg. There are many homosexual people who are open about their sexuality there. This is one place where gay people live a worry free life. There are many churches dedicated to homosexuality only. It's very important for homosexual people to find a support group of same type of peoples in a LGBT church because no one can live life alone. Everyone needs support, the people in LGBT churches are very friendly and will understand all your problems because all of them know what it's like. There is most likely a LGBT support group near you.

Visit a friendly LGBT Church in Los Angeles. The Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena offers support and assistance to the LGBT community. More than a gay friendly church - it's a church for everyone.


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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Pre-Op Transsexuals Looking For Love!

Transgendered Dating can be so Disappointing because of the stereotypes of Transgendered Women! So many trans-women have heartaches of dating because so many men are only looking for sex, many men will lie to them just to have sex! It also appears that most of the men will sleep with as many they can and also so many trans-women have a low self esteem and feel that they have to go beneath themselves for a man to give them attention or to say that their beautiful just to make them feel good about being a Woman! This is the reason why so many men take advantage of trans-women! No man can make you feel good about yourself but you!

There are a lot of people who would like to have relationships with transgendered people. Social issues not-withstanding against transgendered people and against homosexuality discourage some people from going after healthy relationships with transgendered persons. Yet, there are transgendered people out there that are looking for real relationships and there are non-transgendered people out there who want relationships with them.

The most basic advice is to show your real side and attract your real soul mate.

Regardless of whether you're a transgendered person looking for a partner, or a non-transgendered person seeking a transgendered person, there are transgendered websites willing to facilitate that introduction.

Trans gender dating will mean that the man will have to treat the transgendered lady with the same respect, which he would simply show anyone else. Showing respect to ones boss or friends or family seems to come more readily than it does with the transgendered lady. Where a transgendered lady is involved, there seems to be a few more issues involved with respect due to a man's pre-conceived view of transgendered ladies.

Lastly, why do we use the term "she male dating" as well as other she male-related porn terms? Don't you think this term is offensive to the transgendered community? Allow me to straighten this out now. The main target for transgendered dating sites is both men and transgendered ladies. When men use search engines to find dating sites they often use the term "she male" to find these sites. Websites, being search engine friendly often tune their websites to respond well to she male-related search key words. The people who own these websites do not mean to be offensive to the transgendered community, they just mean to put their websites in the path of the keywords some people may use to find their site. They just assume that the people will become educated on the proper way to talk to a transgendered lady once they actually become a member of their site.

Diana La Croix
http://www.tgdateonline.com/
Online dating is quickly becoming the choice for many people in todays fast paced society. That is why at tgdateonline.com, all member features are free just for registering. Our goal is to offer our members for free what other sites charge membership fees for.


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Jealousy in Lesbian Relationships

When I was growing up my mother always told me, "Do not be jealous of others. Do not wish for what others have. Do not fight to possess and control someone, because in the end you will be alone as nothing belongings to us but is merely an experience." She was a wise Buddhist that attempted to sooth a young adolescents' tantrums of wants that weren't fulfilled.

It is true today, that I rarely feel jealous or envy, which I account for my upbringing and the love I was given as a child. Therefore, in the spirit of my mom I would like to pass on a footnote of knowledge hopefully, lightening up the weight of those emotions that have a hunger for our soul: jealous, anger and envy.

I have often heard in therapy and in my own life people projecting this emotion as a trigger of someone else's behavior, "She makes me Jealous. It's her fault she makes me this way." Basically, when it comes to jealous we very quickly pass the buck onto our partners as the creator of this unwelcome feeling. Unfortunately, they are often not to blame as no person is able to create feelings and emotions within us. Only I have the power to create and control what is within me.

Now I know, some of you are thinking "cut the crap with this Zen shit it's definitely not me, it really is her." Well, sure they are cases where partners work very hard to make you jealous, but I would bet money that they are very jealous people themselves and that you are both in heated water suffering from the same illness just different symptoms. The illness is one you probably know as Low Self-Esteem and Insecurity.

When we have negative beliefs about ourselves we are off balance, and feel very much powerless to the world. We will even try regaining this power by bargaining with our partners by saying things like: "If you wouldn't... then I wouldn't react this way." However this has very little success in the real world often neither you achieve your goal because this is not a balance within yourself and simply a quick exchange of false power.

So, in order to eliminate jealous we must only look within ourselves and start the change there, addressing our beliefs that create the emotions. Your relationship will change once you eliminate jealous, and even anger and envy will subside.

Here is how to begin the process:

Build your inner power, so that you see that you have control over your emotions and don't become a bulldozer that is reactive.
Look at the whole picture. What are you jealous of? What is the underlying emotion. Focus: is it perhaps fear, abandonment, unworthiness that your experiencing? Delay you reaction by understanding where it is coming from?
What are you inner core beliefs about yourself and the world? Identify you triggers? Example: I get jealous of my girlfriend, because I fear abandonment and that she may leave me for someone better.
Just because you feel and believe something does not make it a fact. Learn to separate and question yourself.
Be the creator of your inner world. You have the ability to create the images you project into your mind and the emotions you choose to experience.

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find each other, learn from one another, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://thelesbianguru.com/! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru.


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Friday, August 26, 2011

What Gay Men Should Expect From Relationships

Some gay men put up with a lot in their relationships. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers.

Ouch.

Here's what I find most concerning. Some gay men don't feel they have a right to be upset about these behaviors. They'll ask me why they feel so jealous and how can I help them let go of their jealousy. They think that the gay community believes in sexual freedom and it isn't cool or manly to object to their partner's sexual behavior.

In other words, they feel shame for experiencing hurt by the actions of their long-term partners.

Heterosexual couples get plenty of social support for treating their partners with respect when it comes to sex. Outrage is the typical social response when friends are told about poor relationship behavior among straight people. When gay men tell the same heartbreaking stories they are less likely to get a big response. Gay relationships are not given the same level of validity.

I'm not making an argument here for monogamy in gay men's long-term relationships. Men can have open relationships and still treat each other with great care and consideration. Gay men have led the way on redefining what defines a caring open relationship. Check out my blog entry entitled "Gay Men and Open Relationships: What Works?" for more on that position.

The point I am making is that if you feel jealous about your partner's sexual behaviors with other men, you need to validate those feelings. Those feelings are common and normal and deserve respect from both you and your partner.

There is plenty of research in psychology to back up the theory that an important reason we enter into relationships is to heal some of the old wounds we experienced in our earliest relationships with our parents, siblings, and peers. If your family had trouble providing you with emotional support as a child then one of the best ways you can heal from that loss is to experience deep emotional support from your adult partner. Most people are really hungry for this experience.

Couples that don't acknowledge that their relationship needs plenty of care, conversation, and consensus will hurt each other. Rather than helping to heal old wounds, these relationships just keep reinjuring. Psychotherapists call this "attachment wounding."

If your friends are telling you that you are putting up with too much from your boyfriend, it's often a sign that you are in a "codependent" position in your relationship. Codependence can be defined as compulsively taking care of other people rather than taking care of ourselves.

Here's the very least you should expect from your partner:

• Your partner should apologize when he discovers that he dropped you emotionally. Maybe not right away, but eventually.

• Your partner should not be harshly criticizing you, teasing you, or putting you down. If he does this occasionally he should be sincerely apologizing after each incident.

• Your partner should never hit you. Period.

• Being drunk is not an excuse for mean behavior.

• You deserve kindness from your partner. Not at every single moment, but on a regular weekly basis. This is really the whole point of being in a relationship.

If this topic resonated with you might want to check out the classic book on codependency: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

If you are tolerating unkind behavior then I urge you seriously reevaluate your relationship. Seek out individual or couples counseling if you need help in making the changes to create supportive, healthy relationships.

Adam D. Blum, MFT is a San Francisco psychotherapist specializing in relationship and self-esteem issues for gay men. He writes a blog on these topics at http://gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/blog. Adam can be reached at 415-255-4266 or on his website at http://www.gaytherapist-sanfrancisco.com/.


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Gender Identity and the Conflict Within

Gender. Identity. What does it all mean?

They tell me that gender identity is the new hot topic. I wondered what exactly that meant. I mean after all hasn't gender always been an issue, wherever it has been the conflict of being a woman, or a man, and now both. Perhaps in the past, gender issues that affect us today were discussed with far more secrecy and ignorance. Whereas now with the help of technology and science the gender gaps have become smaller making individuals' happier in their bodies. Or is it even more confused?

I know that the LGBT community especially our transgender family are still met with considerable discrimination and hatred, however we do live in a time unlike any other where freedom to be ourselves is growing and awareness of differences is discussed openly. However, with knowledge and freedom comes also a sense of confusion, even more classification is required, and perhaps even more loneliness, "now I have all this knowledge what do I do with it?"

Which brings me to an email I received, a sincere letter that demonstrated the double edge sword that is today's gender identify issue, "I know I can be who I want to be, but how do I know what I am?" For some, it is as easy as making a cup of tea, they wake up and regardless of the body parts they know from within the person they are. Whole heartily they will claim their gender identity and live fully, and of course with bravery.

For others, well the lines are grey and distinctions are lost with feelings of having to choose. Why? Why choose any one identity in particular. What if for some of us our true identity is male and female, in equal amounts? What if you are truly both?

Many will fight to say that sex organs do not make the gender. I am one of those people, I don't believe having a vagina or a penis is the only aspect of gender. Yes, they help to make a general distinction but I feel we are a little more interesting and complicated than that. One piece does not make the whole! For example, when women have their breasts removed or uterus due to medical reasons does that make them any less of a women?

The Native American's have a beautiful expression for people like us, "two spirited" because in essence with hold both identities, and will feel one side more that another or be perfectly evenly distributed. However, for those who have no concerns as to their place on the gender identity continuum, I know their are many who it's a daily battle filled with insecurity and loneliness. Here is some information to hopefully to ease your journey to self-peace.

We can experience identity confusion at any age and it can be affected by our environment. If you are feeling disgusted by your genitals, isolate, are depressed, anxious, wish to get rid of your genitals, your confused about your self-concept, and are feeling suicidal you need to seek treatment in the form of individual therapy. There are options today that will allow you the space to grow in the direction you see for yourself and people who will help you.

Sex reassignment through surgery and hormonal therapy is an option, but identity problems may continue after these treatment if one is not whole within. The main reason is if we are not content with ourselves/soul, we will never feel complete with our body, our shell.

Remember:

The things that bring you happiness, and that all of us are unique in what brings us happiness and peace. Be at awe with who you are, your individuality and do not compare yourself to others.
Surround yourself with people that support you and make you happy.
Don't wallow in the differences but explore the uniqueness, claim it as your own!
Take off those lenses that make you see the world in black and white, and become a lover of the color that makes your world.
Be kind to yourself and spend time exploring your wants and needs, not what is expected and socially "normal."
Stay healthy. Take care of your body by eating right, seeing your doctor, and getting help for your mind regularly.
Most importantly, you deserve to be happy and your body can't create that nor can anyone else. It is in your mind and the beliefs you have of yourself is which happiness is created.

We are only on earth for a short journey, don't get stuck in the creases of ignorance. Be the Creator of your own path to who you are.

Alex Karydi~ The Lesbian Guru

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find each other, learn from one another, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://thelesbianguru.com/! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru


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Thursday, August 25, 2011

How can you succeed on the Girl to Girl kisses within three basic ways to

Almost everyone has some of the goals, objectives and goals. Most of us have checklist actions that you want to do or have. Many desire successful girl to girl kissing. Perhaps too, want the same. Really is not too difficult if you already know how. Whenever you're outside of the main hurdles, divide it into easy steps, you can do much in the girl to girl kissing. This should be its ambitions, stay with me to learn, easier way to get success in girl to girl kissing in several stages.

The critical first step is to Smile. You're going to have to do this, because this creates a girl feel much you understand. the positive energy will attract more women. In view of this initial step, strongly avoid, seen redness and bored.

You need to provide, as well as do very carefully also said the first stage. If the unconditionally screws here, then try the next step.

Then a second step, it's going want kissable lips. Couple of things that need to be careful to avoid including are the girls do not like to kiss girls with chapped, challenge and looking for dry lips. Having smelly breath ...

Their next and final step is to Make eye contact. This is important because it can give the impression that you're really into it. A Problem that it is important that the user should keep away from here is in the process of being shy, you'll introduce a girl to think that there is to it.

Only make these steps diligently, as specified above. If you do, should succeed the girl to girl kissing effortlessly with neither absolutely no complications. After these types of guidelines already worked successfully for many other before; quite likely it is to work efficiently and also provides excellent results for you! The function of these activities, recommended what you can do, avoiding the potential problems described. Then outstanding shall only do for you to take pleasure in the significant benefits that will be displayed when the you are the girl to girl kissing.

Learn some ways to fully grasp girls kissing tonight by going to this particular girl to girl kissing girls http://www.girlsiskissing.com/site.


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The best way to find a Gay love and sex in discriminating societies

In many societies in Africa and the Middle East is gay is Taboo. In these societies man gay faces prejudice, which had the discrimination, and even he might support. I have seen many people take their lives because they cannot cope with the damage. This intolerance goes on despite the fact that homosexuality practised in these societies in since time immemorial. Get a partner to love and be loved is not only very difficult, but it is often impossible. Acceleration of sex remains unsatisfied, you remain unloved (Instrumental) and wondering whether it is worth continuing the old.

It's not all lost. You can get the love and sex too intolerant societies. Being gay is genuine and that the companies want to believe or not. There are always people who are gay, although some will hide their sexuality. You can find a partner.

One of the easiest ways to a gay love and sex is looking for people who look the part. In many situations, people who are willing to same sex ratios typically exhibit features easily. Mannersim's going there to show ones sexual inclination. But if you are not sure please don't risk because in Africa and the Middle East if you get it wrong it could even spell the death of, or even exile. Recently in Uganda some lunatic Member wanted to enact laws to punish same sex love and sex with the death penalty. This is how Poisoned is this part of the world.

If you know someone gay, network with them. Through these networks is that you get a partner. People know other people with similar inclination.

Internet works only in places such as South Africa, which is liberal towards gay relationships. The Internet provides a wide range of people with similar sexual inclination as you do without spending the time life search.

Toolbars are not go place for a gay love and sex. It is very difficult to find where human descent, although not completely impossible. However, in most discriminating societies will be very difficult to find common available people gay.

One thing that most gay people don't think about it, which may be vey helpful is the role of traditional healers. Traditional healers have psychic and spiritual.They can easily use their spiritual powers to find a gay partner. They not only find this person, but also make it with you the magic effect of loyal. When all else seems difficult to get hold of the traditional Jedi healer for assistance. You will not be disappointed.

Many people who seek to help them get it. Search end if it's really necessary changes in his life of love. You really need a gay lover? Are you sure? Click here for more information about how we can help: http://www.sudanesehealer.co.za/services.html


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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Who will be called Mommy?

I was looking for another post on Facebook and reading peoples some tweets and realized that were discovered as I consider that one of the ": you admire beautiful" dilemmas that lesbian couples can have while knowing that soon the new parents. Which one of us will be called mommy?

Well, of course, MOM, who carried the child politely called "mommy". But that does not minimize the importance of the other partner. What they should be named? A couple of things came to mind: Mom, Mom, mother Meema, Other MOM and Baby Mama ... but seriously what we do as parents when we have two mommies?

Can I be Yamada from letting my baby call me "She-She". The term endearment used by My nieces and my family. -It actually has been started by one of my sisters baby when she was unable to terminate my real name and came up with She-She and he blocked by all these years. Melt and almost every time one of my nieces call My nickname or when the birth of a child discovers that she finally pronounce She-She. Should I allow my child to me call this nickname too deserve the name "Parent" or "more" Mama "?

That is To say, I'm going to be a mommy. I can't have our child to full term, but I went to every meeting individual fecundity and, of course, I can help you pay your bills. I felt pangs of concern while waiting for each two-week and sore disappointment for each negative pregnancy test. I was sitting my partner during each insemination and held hands during the most niewygodnych procedures just to help you as a result of the introduction of that special child in the world. This is a child that we want so much.

Who Am I? I am the mommy too? Of course I am. But what name we use for me? Regardless of the names of the two can agree as parents, should be undertaken jointly. And as time goes, bee talks to a child who becomes second nature. Will answer at the same time as the "mommy" comes out of the baby's mouth for the first time. You know why? Because both you'll be so excited hearing their first words, and each user wants to say "he is calling me, you can't", and you'll laugh about this time.

To me is a great dilemma to be burdened with the child. I don't care what my baby me calls only for as long as they know that I'm their mommy too. And love, they receive will outweigh any name, that could be given to me or My partner for infants who only wants to loved and hugged each day.

Hi I'm Sheila m. Robinson, the creator of this Web site. My partner and I use the technique of in-vitro diagnostic fertilisation by making efforts to have the baby in the past 10 months. I decided to write about our experience in efforts to help others who want to go through a similar process. Hopefully, it will help us understand better the learned to travel. Please visit my website at http://twomommys.com/to come along on our journey as well.

http://twomommys.com/The-Perfect-Sperm-Bank/Who-will-be-called-Mommy/

(c)-Copyright Sheila m. Robinson


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Whether Gay couples marriage Counseling must too?

Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Highlights of your soul and makes everything looks perfect.

The flip side, also love hurts. A lot. It can be magical, but it can be unbearably hard. Even if you have already committed relationship and you don't need to worry if your love is reciprocated, are so many circumstances and obstacles which can make your life together, living hell. If you are in the same gender relationship, apply the same rules, of course, but unfortunately, you have the added pressure of still very underprivileged society to deal with.

Marriage should be highly sought-after and cherished bond between two people who love each other unconditionally. In time, you can bind a node, the Love is there and you know that changing your life are enormous. You will be using the same space and material possessions, trying to fit in a circle of other users of the family and friends and Division of responsibilities and decisions for the rest of your life, among other things. This is nothing like it is? With regard to work each day with his spouse in the way of love, tolerance and compromise in the area. It is sometimes that you are both disputed situations, which are simply too difficult. Too much pain or too many bad memories are enabled. When you get to the moment when the relationship is on self-destructive spirala, you need to figure out whether you can solve Your problems, or whether it is actually the end of the road. If you are not ready for closing and are determined to fight for the relationship, by all means, look for outside help.

Counseling is one of tools you have available to cure shattered relationship. First, you need to find a therapist. Not just anyone, but someone with which you can apply and who know and arrange to have the session in the week, for example. This is a decisive step in the right direction. You will see:

On the basis of an unbiased: you'll know not to take sides in a therapist, you will hear instead of both, and try to work your differences;

Taking advantage of professional and objective perspective: you are both too involved in the problem of looking at it correctly-therapist will do this for you gives a clearer and more objective view of things;

Releasing negative vibes: you'll be able to vent feelings and frustrations in a friendly environment without fear;

Analyzing your responses: learn what triggers Your anger and other hurtful feelings towards each other;

How to deal with stressful situations and negative;

The objectives set for the data needed to perform and work;

Doing homework in order to complete each session;

Working with the qualified person shall, in making its findings, marriage/partnership even stronger.

It is also very important, try to focus on resolving issues emerging and not get fixated in the past mistakes. You need to Forgive yourself and your partner to go to the front. Remember: you want healing and don't scratch them open. Do you like this person and he loves you. This is the most important condition needed for a life together. You are one of the lucky ones, if you have a true love in your life.

Visit the friendly LGBT Church in Los Angeles. Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena offers support and assistance to the LGBT Community. More than homosexuals Church Los Angeles, is a church for all users.


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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

What can I do if the lesbian partner grows distant from you

You are amazing woman. Showers you with attention and affection, and you know how great they are. Finally, the first to think that all your dreams will star at the end of the relationship.

Then, all suddenly you notice that a ship does not require so much. It runs, hesitating about making plans with you. It seems when it is with you, it is not in fact exist and that they are feeling good. I think that every woman was there and it feels terrible.

Now replace voltage turning gut emotion, you feel. You're on the edges and enjoy only when it is with you. However, for some reason never know exactly when you want. Soon, you should run, analyze its every movement and speaking about it relentlessly with friends.

There is one thing, made by me to do to get this self-destructive pattern ...

The presence of exclusive hold

While exclusive rights without obligations is the tender trap. Narrow it, but not good at all works for you. Instead of waiting for women to draw up plans or sit around analyzing Why is constantly coming to the front and then to keep the run going in, casual dates with several different women. There are many opportunities for Lesbian Dating now, including match making services, the internet, as well as local events, classes, and lesbian books owned shops, etc.

Exit from home and maintain a list of the other women instead, debates, and more than one woman! The most important reason for Dating more than one woman, until the exclusivity that gives you the opportunity to find the best partner. The fact that you can become more attractive to women, are you a dating of the bonus.

The last thing you want to do is hold your life and leave to stand around waiting for the woman. Christmas giving her all the powers. It's like saying, "I'm so nuts about you, will take whatever me manually." And that is never is attractive to anyone.

What really che

Every woman really wants to be with the woman who puts herself first. But it will, regardless of the ship can be obtained from you when it away too easily. Keeping the option open, it makes it possible to look and easier for a woman you have to specify what you want. This changes completely, outlook and your personal energy. When it is noted that you are Honoring your heart, he will force her to honor you. Will it stop, blowing agents hot or cold and give comments which you deserve. That it will leave you or alone. This is where you'll learn that she wasn't worth investing your time and heart to anyway. By dating, others, just save yourself a lot of heartbreak. Since the options were maintaining the open, there are a number of other women who are happily by!

Build confidence and Self Esteem, to stop all work in a relationship, you must learn to date successfully in that Community, and lesbian women to chase after the Brand line up! http://thelesbianbadgirl.Webs.com/


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Instructions for returning the lesbian Girlfriend Ex

Sometimes attempts, all save the relationship. The user may have attempted to communicate with your partner preference. Can be made yourself Crazy, you attempted to change it. Nothing ever seemed to be working, and now I want her back!

What happened was that you lost track myself and your own happiness. The effect may be in your partner's company, doing the same. However, if you start to make small changes in each other, by placing the focus on the most important people-you-you can save the relationship and build stronger, more joined the Union than ever before.

Forget about it

Yes, you heard correctly! First putting together is the key to inspiring woman put you first. If you are not alone and have a healthy high self-esteem, then Why should it? Then, just a woman becomes aware that honor and respect yourself and you know what will or will not be tolerated.

It is not possible to do this, when you are using so much time and energy, read it and give it what do you think that it needs.

The date itself

This means is that for yourself, which will help you. If you would like to take You to dinner partner, tell her you're taking yourself spa lunch. If you want to that she bought you more gifts, why not book your something that you know? Not to be expensive, you simply must make to happy.

It might take hours to do yoga every day yourself. When notes that do not lay aside the requirements and needs her, she'll remember the amazing woman, she fell in love with, and what made her unique. Changing the user can edit vibe actually re-ignite passion for women and Save Your relationship.

I can not stress this enough: a decent women, such as the make their women happy. Period Of Time. They like to spend quality time with you, you can purchase, faithful you and they, like the way it is believed that good about yourself when you're one of them.

So if you want to save the relationship, stop, wearing myself out trying to change it, and instead focus on making yourself happy first.

Build confidence and Self Esteem, to stop all work in a relationship, you must learn to date successfully in that Community, and lesbian women to chase after the Brand line up! http://thelesbianbadgirl.Webs.com/


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Questions of gender for LGBT and questioning the questions Gay youth

Gender and sexual identity are not the solution. Being who you are, you chose for the gay, lesbian, transgender or LGBT Portal. There is something selected. Sexual identity is to discover Who is individual. It is how God made you.

For some the decision is easy. A sense of identity as a male or female and feel a strong attraction to the same sex. This is not just wake up in the morning of Tuesday, and say "you know what I'm gay today." Is the dawning of consciousness. It's like being peeled back the layers of the onion. How can you peel back those layers, you can discover more about yourself-who you are, what you like, what you don't like, what makes you happy and makes you sad.

Is the discovery, with gay or lesbian is not a choice. And originating in the community of faith, is the discovery of who God made you for. Some feel, caught a unit that does not match that of the person and the feeling inside. These people feel a strong sense of their bodies, which do not correspond with the outside appearance. Afghanistan: transsexual community from this complex process.

Young gays and lesbians may have feelings that you don't understand. You may not "get it". Unfamiliar to the example images move relations in society, male and female Dating, and it seems that this is how it should be, but never mind. Keep in mind that discover the sexual identity can be fun and exciting, doesn't have to be traumatic or sad — you can use it. Discover that the creature is that God can be made. Make a fun and enjoy life.

You are a gift to the world. You need to celebrate who you are. Is God's creation of a great celebration and you, and God loves you regardless of sexual identity, or sexual preference. It is kind of strange sexual phrase because it is slightly more complicated because no such as dialing your favorite ice cream is a chocolate or ice cream or like pizza and sushi more.

Terms of zeskrobujac back the layers of your identity and discover yourself. Life is a journey of self discovery and knowledge and you can rest safe in the knowledge that God will always love you.

Visit gay friendly Church in Los Angeles. Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena offers support and assistance to the LGBT Community. More than just one gay churches in Los Angeles, is a church for all users.


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Monday, August 22, 2011

LGBT Suicide and trauma of growing up Gay

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As a mental health counselor for the past twenty years, I have listened to many painful stories by some of my lesbian and gay patients regarding growing up in a homophobic and heterosexist world. Many of my gay and lesbian patients, including a number of bisexual and transgender individuals, shared with me that as young as age five they felt different. They were unable to articulate why they felt different, and, at the same time, they were too afraid to talk about it. Many reported that they knew this feeling of being different was related to something forbidden. "It felt like keeping a tormenting secret that I could not even understand," described one of my gay patients. Others shared with me that the feeling of differentness revealed itself in the form of gender nonconformity which could not be kept secret. Therefore, it made them more venerable to homophobic and transgender phobic mistreatment at school and often at home. They had to cope with a daily assault of shame and humiliation without any support.

The experience of carrying a sense of differentness as it related to some of the most taboo and despised images in our culture can leave a traumatic scar on one's psyche. Most school age children organize his or her school experience around the notion of not coming across as queer. Any school age child's worst nightmare is being called faggot or dyke which is commonly experienced by many children who do not flow with the mainstream. One gay high school student disclosed to me that on average he hears more than twenty homophobic remarks a day. Schools can feel like concentration camps for LGBT children or any child who gets scapegoat as queer. For the most part, LGBT kids do not get any protection from school officials, and this is a form of child abuse on a collective level. Mistreatment of LGBT youth and a lack of protection are contributing factors to the issue of LGBT teen suicide.

The feeling of differentness as it relates to being gay or lesbian is too complex for any child to process and make sense of especially when coupled with external attacks in the form of homophobic, derogatory name calling. Unlike a black child whose parents are typically also black or a Jewish child with Jewish parents and relatives, the LGBT youth typically does not have gay or lesbian parents or anyone who would mirror his or her experience. In fact many families tend to blame the mistreated LGBT youngster for not being like everyone else and make the child feel like he or she deserves this mistreatment.

When parents are either unable or unwilling to "feel and see" the world through the eyes of their child, and do not provide a reflection to their child that makes the child feel valued that child can not develop a strong sense of self. Facing with isolation, confusion, humiliation, physical violence, not being valued in the eyes of parents, and carrying a secret that the youngster connects with something terrible and unthinkable is too stressful for any child to endure. Especially when there is no empathic other to help him or her to sort it out. The youngster suffers in silence and might use dissociation to cope. In a worst case scenario, he or she could commit suicide.

Many LGBT youth who found the courage to open up about their identity issue have experienced rejection by their families and peers. Many families treat such disclosure as bringing shame on to the family and throw their kid out of the house which forces the kid to join the growing population of homeless kids on the street.

The stress of trying to come to terms with a complex matter such as same sex attraction, family's rejection as a result of finding out about same sex attraction, and becoming victimized through verbal and physical abuse by peers due to being different are contributing factors to the trauma of growing up gay or lesbian. Such traumatic experience can explain why lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. Suicide attempts by LGBT youth is their desperate attempt to escape this traumatic process of growing up queer.

Those of us who survived the trauma of growing up queer without adequate support and managed to reach adulthood can benefit from making internalized homophobia conscious. When a gay or lesbian youngster experience humiliation every school day for being different and has no one to protect him or her that child can develop internalized homophobia. Internalized homophobia is internalization of shame and hatred that gay and lesbian people were forced to experience. The seed of internalized homophobia is planted from early age, and having a psyche contaminated by the shadow of internalized homophobia can result in low self esteem and other problems later in life. Bisexual and transgender youngsters can also internalize the hatred they had to endure growing up and may develop self hatred.

Not dealing with internalized homophobia is ignoring the wreckage of the past. Psychological injuries that were inflicted on LGBT people as result of growing up in a homophobic and heterosexist world needs to be addressed. Each time a LGBT youngster was insulted or attacked for being different such attack left a scar on his or her soul. Such violent mistreatment caused many to develop feelings of inferiority.

Life after the closet needs to include coming out inside. Becoming aware of repressed or disassociated memories and feelings around homophobic mistreatment of growing up is part of coming out inside. Coming out inside is about approaching unconscious and understanding the development of internalized homophobia. Some painful experiences that contribute to the development of internalized homophobia can get split off and remain in the unconscious. Those split parts can impact how one treats himself or herself in life. Providing empathy and regard for one's gay inner child who endured years of confusion, shame, fear, and mistreatment due to his or her identity is part of the psychological healing process.

The solution to the demon of internalized homophobia is self-knowledge and self-acceptance. As a community, learning to know ourselves can add vitality to our struggle for freedom. The LGBT liberation movement should not only include fighting for our equal rights, but also working through the injuries that were inflicted on us for growing up queer in a heterosexist world. External changes such as Marriage Equality or the repeal of the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy alone cannot heal us from homophobic mistreatment and rejection we received growing up gay or lesbian. We need to open a new psychological frontier and take our struggle for freedom to a new level. Our civil rights movement is like a bird that needs two wings to fly and not just one. So far, the political wing has been the main carrier of this movement. By adding psychological healing work as the other wing, our bird of liberty can fly higher in the sky.

© This article is copyrighted by Dr. Payam Ghassemlou MFT Ph.D., a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood, California. http://www.DrPayam.com

Dr. Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D., is licensed in the state of California as a Marriage and Family Therapist with over fifteen years experience. He has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology along with being a registered addiction specialist.
As a psychotherapist, his areas of expertise include, but are not limited to, interpersonal neurobiology, insecure attachment, mindfulness, dream analysis, substance abuse, couple counseling, managing emotions, pain management, sexual compulsion, coming out, internalized homophobia, self-esteem, midlife crisis, shame, depression, anxiety, HIV/AIDS, dual diagnosis, grief/loss, trauma, immigrant families, work concerns, personal growth, and bi-cultural marriages.
Furthermore, Dr. Ghassemlou has advanced training in contemporary psychoanalysis, Jungian psychology, sandplay therapy, cognitive therapy, mindfulness, and Eastern psychology. He is skilled at goal-oriented, problem focused, and time-efficient therapy. He provides individual therapy and couple counseling. His office is conveniently located on the border of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood.


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Why people are looking for women Online Gay Dating sites?

Anyone who does not know that online Dating sites can be really difficult? You should also know that every story has two different sides, like a coin. Now we talk about the positive points of must and sides of being a member of such Dating community. These days, every culture has some podkultury too. We can distinguish them easily even including culture, where males, such as date of same-sex partners. This is why the new trends of online Dating has emerged. Men looking for women online gay dating service sites. Males, including male partners may not date for normal Dating sites because of the special dating service made to them being a gay dating service sites.

They are excellent sites Dating to you, if you're gay because it feels a little embarrassed to find gay partner in a public place. It is true that the Government of several Nations gave legal permission to gays to marry, but still these relationships are not really open at the front of the people. The world of the Internet is the best place to find a gay partner. You have complete freedom to express your feelings here. It is generally recognised that, in most cases, sexual orientation, same sex between humans is not accepted by the population. Now through the gay dating service sites, you'll find a cool partner separately to you. You do not need to hear the Deny and negativisms around you with different people. Even males who are trying to Flirt with another male Gets Big trouble. In this connection, the gay Dating websites are certainly the ideal, as far as the males search for other males.

There are several sites which target on males who are in such preferences. Just create a profile and start the process of seeking attractive male choice, and in the interests of. You can refine your search simply by mentioning your requirements as age male partner preference, living area, with similar activities, and several other preferences and needs. Become more self confident on these websites. Males are available at these sites are also interested in the same relationships as you do. They need not become vulnerable to public humiliations. You have this territory online for you where you can freely express their feelings and no one can stop with this.

You can start a conversation with male selected to become his friend, by chatting with them, send messages, and so on. Try to best each other understand. You two must be mutually in the contract relationship. Have been looking for this occasion from so long, so it must grab the opportunity now. Take your own in the knowledge of a second male online and decide what you want to do. Gay dating service sites, will be the most convenient of all. You can go to any site that you like it.

It is no doubt that many men seeking men have found the ideal partner for free Gay Dating site easy and simple, thousands of male Singles waiting on the Internet totally free personals Services Find a gay Date today


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Being Gay is a gift of God

"Being Gay is a gift of God. But Our culture does not understand that, and consequently sends messages that are to be isolated. And isolation is the Antithesis of at all of us need. We need a community, we simply cannot not be entirely without spirituality or the Community '

Above the line was last told the Rev. Ed Bacon, Rector of all Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California, during one of Oprah's shows at the beginning of January. What awesome way to start the new year! Weren't You? I sure wish Oprah was around when I grow nearly 40 years ago! Make sure that things would be much easier and the chances are that hearing such statements on television would have given me the courage I needed to come out to My Dad a lot earlier and does not confess it in prayer, after she had as he passed-leaving me feeling guilty that he never got to know me truly I 'm.

As I was watching the broadcast (which I am sure you will be able to find simply by Googleing "Oprah" and "Gay") I can't help but feeling mixed feeling of happiness and sorrow, wonder, at the same time. Wonder, since it was completely unexpected, and resonated in the depth of my representative. Fortunately, because in so many ways it was a public endorsement by two very respected spiritual with the rather large, reaffirming something already I know and accept this in my life after much pain and several hundred hours of therapy: it was created in the image and likeness of God; that God in me, like me, to me. I feel a great sadness, because I read in so many ways, albeit perseveringly consolidates many of the ground, is so very healing, which still must be followed by the community of gays and lesbians, not only here in South Africa, but around the world.

So the question is, where can we start? How can we heal the wounds left by years of feeling isolated, different-in from the rest, years when he said that we are abominations, Deviant, pedophiles, freaks, and so many other "labels" that Unfortunately many of us started and ultimately believed-some to the point where they have completed their life? What comes to mind is Gandhi's words, "Be the change you want to see in the world." To me, which translates into: whereas, healing, advanced, love and Self host, gay person I want to see other gay men and women in the world. The work starts with the first, then, as indicated by the Rev. Ed Bacon, in the community in which we live.

The path to healing can be used for some of us had a long and painful, and for the user that it may take longer than you expect depending on how long you may already have these "beliefs" about homosexuality imposed by others. All healing must first start with the full acceptance of what is. That means fully accept all that has happened in their lives, in the light of the buying-in of these beliefs separation without thinking what could have, should have or would do so after you've done, then take the time to the set of all positive, came with him. Make sure that was the bad moments, but certainly not all was bad. Some good things must come to it. There were what good things? Maybe to hide feelings of shame did play an instrument or developing a skill or talent which otherwise would not. Might have been hidden at the local library, where he was reading a book, never would be found. Or perhaps, in the places that you have fulfilled you fled to superb love and accompanying people is that they were lovers, friends for life. Regardless of that, it helps if the Save. Then after you've all the good that has been collected from all sense of separation and isolation, take the time to Forgive. Forgiveness is one of the most underrated and effective spiritual practices, exists! The forgiveness of all is truly self forgiveness when we Forgive others, we are a truly healing and releasing all these thoughts, emotions and feelings we hold within us of them. What you need to Forgive yourself for? Who else you need to Forgive? Your parents, Church, friends, society, God? His save. You can write something in the style of ... "I can forgive you for _______ _________. And you can release and let you go. You already have permissions over me. " Forgiveness clears path and allow the true healing has taken place. Finally, ask yourself: "What new quality is trying now immersed in me? What is striking birthed? Save it to. You can see, each seeming problem in our lives or the challenge is always a certain quality, which is called "chwila inside of us presented. In my case, it is possible to forgive, and truly let go of my own limited thoughts about yourself, I began to feel freer and more confident in myself, more self-accepting. These were the qualities which have tried to emerge.

You want to see a correction in the world truly begin with ourselves. When more people start to own the process and become responsible for our own lives, our own Divinity begins to emerge, our lights are lighter shoes. This in turn allows others to do the same. By Divinity is those qualities of God, which we inherited when we were born: Love, Joy, abundance, peace, acceptance, Balance, Power, Giving, creativity, the list goes on and as Rev. Michael b. Beckwith spiritual leader and founder of the movement of Agape, said during the same issue of Oprah, "people don't just happen to be gay. People are born gay men by Divine right. We are the image and likeness of God, just as we are. "

Gay affirmations

I am gay, and came from a powerful reason.I accept my personal responsibility in the current healing force in my life, homosexuals and the world.I Release the embarrassment and internalized homophobia from every level of my representative.Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually I'm tuned in to the vibration of the deep self-love and acceptance.This alignment of My thoughts, words and deeds are filled with grace, clarity and power.How to be gay! I'm FABULOUS ... is the only true!

Gabriel Gonsalves-writer, Director, ordained minister and teacher of practical spirituality and Unconditional love. Based in Cape Town Cape, was also the founder and spiritual director of the Agape, trans. Spiritual community on the basis of the teachings of New Thought/Ancient wisdom. Also serves as Director of operations on Novalis Ubuntu Institute of holistic research.

Gabriel loves to apply spiritual truth, who taught to all areas of their lives and makes them available to everyone who crosses the trajectory. Through workshops, seminars, weekly church services, meditation Guide, online courses and coaching sessions, inspires and empowers people with joy to live most of their celebrates every moment, as they give their greatest gifts in service to the world.

Gabriela articles and works can be viewed in ODYSSEY MAGAZINE, and THE PINK TONGUE. For more information about Gabriel's visit http://www.gabrielgonsalves.com/website


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Sunday, August 21, 2011

Gay Teen Suicides can be prevented by LGBT Church or group support

Many homosexuals are teenagers, committing suicide now days despite being gay is a crime. Some face major problems by homosexual Teenagers are feeling unloved (Instrumental), not supported with their home surroundings, being isolated from the Group of friends and family.

Incidents where the suicide of adolescents gays are much more compared to other cases. Many gay Teenagers are often pressured and isolated by others-also known as Gay bashing. This, in turn, they feel lonely, isolated, done, etc. It was noted that many gay Teenagers with unresolved questions go on the wrong path and they are subject to the prey, the abuse of alcohol, drugs and other bad habits due to the pressure on them.

In ancient times of gay teenagers to hide identity, but now all of them are coming forward and after all the fighting all the injustice Done to them, there's nothing wrong, and all States have the right to life.

How can you verify that you are homosexual? This is the most common question that is frequently asked by young people, who are trying to understand your feelings. Just because you are not attracted to the opposite sex does not offer gays. Every race on Earth have different amounts of time to sexual maturation. Some may gain at a very early stage, and for some it may take time. For the majority of gay people, operates, having crushes on humans of their same sex orientation in life-it can be anyone, or friend, the officer class, etc., and is not Your fault-it is only sexual characteristics.

Homosexuality is not hereditary, according to recent statistics-gay men ratio is 1: 10 str8, so it is a fairly large number. Homosexuality is not something to be feared or ashamed of, because no one truly say a man with his sexuality.

The most important and frequently asked questions by many gay Teenagers are, "how to talk to parents about being homosexual?" Talking to Your parents about homosexuality is a very difficult task and it is almost near impossible.

Most of the times that young gay men run out of fear that their parents will disown them and some teenagers who go through with it and talk with parents often are isolated by parents and society. Most of the time is the fight between parents and children, which leads to the violation of their relationship.

Many of the teens in this situation, after Being isolated from family and friends just because of their gender grounds, try to commit suicide. Cases of suicide in gay Teenagers are three times more than str8 teenagers. My tips for gay Teenagers are changes things, but now change slowly and steadily. The world is changing, a gay teenager has been Taboo in the past, but now they are accepted in each field.

Whatever, just don't lose hope and consider committing suicide because life is very precious. I know it is very difficult to meet the parents, but can be done-just try to look straight into their eyes and start a topic about Your being gay, the first could be surprised but convince them that is not their fault-if you understand you will accept you. Although it may take some time, you can recover Your parents of acceptance and love. You must be strong enough to love them and forgive them, where they have difficulties with Your sexual orientation (this is the lesson of life that makes a very strong as a person).

Another aspect that is often asked is, "Why am I gay?" It is not in your control to be gay and nor her own fault, according to researchers. A high level of testosterone secretion contributes to human development, while high levels of estrogen and progesterone secretion leads to the development of the brain of a woman. This hormone secretion during prenatal stage may lead to form homosexual tendencies.

In the past there were many acts against Homosexuality in Christianity, and many homosexuals was to provide abused views and sentenced to death. But now times have changed and now the Christianity and Christian Churches accepted the gay people and there are many gay-friendly Church in Europe and the United States.

One of the cities of where there is no discrimination is Johannesburg. There are many people who are homosexual, open about their sexuality there. This is a place where gay people live life worry free. There are many churches dedicated to homosexuality only. It is very important to find a support group for homosexual of the same type of Nations in the Church, because no one LGBT, live life independently. Everyone needs support, LGBT people in churches are very friendly and will understand all the issues, because all of them know what is like. It is very likely that in the nearest LGBT support groups.

Visit the friendly LGBT Church in Los Angeles. Good Shepherd Church in Pasadena offers support and assistance to the LGBT Community. More than the gay-friendly Church-is the Church for all users.


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