On May 13th, 2010, when I woke up this morning, no one could have convinced me that I would be almost a year later. I woke, distresses, mindful and utter loss. The day before the bottom fell out of my car repairs, head warned me that if I don't have a car, could I don't have a job; the money was a problem, I discovered that stomach Hernia and the worst part of all, that my girlfriend had to escape from her ex-all within 24hrs.
Hurt was so unexpected and my checks that he not spun me in the dark, which took me months to get over it. This was a week, The Lesbian Guru was created, I felt so lonely in the community of Lesbian and dumbfounded by the intricacies of the woman who needed to learn more.
Even after I got a new car, Bran got promotion to the new job, were the problems with money, got accepted to the PhD program and had a sweet new girlfriend; I noticed that I was still living alone and lost.
Seven months would go by; the women would come out and from my life, with a bitter taste of its spirit of staining my memory. Seven months later, the night crying when nobody was around. Seven months, cursing the day she was born and was given the opportunity to leave its imprint on my skin. Seven months wishing I could erase my memory and say "Yes" to those who waited in the dark for me to confirm his love. Seven months of pain.
By late autumn I decided after much self-exploration and questioning, which might be something such as "never really get at the person." He was finally given that cuts would remain missing in me, and this life is still needed.
She was at this time, Sunday afternoon and he was sitting with My best friend Ellen in her car, crying last time in each of the parties the weapons our past loves and does it hurt that my phone light up with the incoming message. I thought initially he had read the name wrong, but as soon as I took a better look and returned. Ellen in shock to read its name and went to find me (as I got in the car and began walking). Read messages out loud, then stared at me with WTF just happened to look at.
Attention "I'm sorry", and "me left numb and emotionless. I'd be a liar if I said that this was not something that I prayed for, or, and not care. I cared. I cared more than she was willing to accept or even wanted to feel. Part of me hated her for all the pain that it caused me and others only wanted to feel her skin under my hand and more than anything I just wanted to know Why.
I think that is where reconciliation begun for me. When you open the door for we have a lot of choices. The better part of me wanted to make, leaving the door wide open, so I leave may at any time. I took a step in the direction; Bearing in mind that my intentions are always be true, to keep an open mind and boundaries are not the walls and never punish her for abandoning me.
Never broken in physical and human heart is never fixed, but when reconciling anyone deal with all persons in relation to to do it. Reconciliation is an objective and requires the team to achieve one person alone cannot do all the work, nor is fair.
Here are ten tips to help when you start the process of reconciliation:
Start with friendship. When my ex came back into my life we made it clear that the pleasure of friends. We were so determined to recover the confidence for yourself at this level that we waited over a month to physically see each other again. It was worth the wait!We gave ourselves a "do not ask anything and keep secrets." This included an additional side note, "Please don't detail." Also we gave each other the peace anger and pain, but express it properly, we were calm and ready to listen.It is absolutely "no-no," does not receive, screaming, name-calling or threatening. Not harassing them for research or calling many times! What is done is done, and if you don't want to leave it in the past, than you can forget it ever work out in the future. Also do not play the victim and the past as a weapon, for example, "used to do this, you can use to do that."Set certain rules and boundaries. Every once in a while you need to set your limits. "Some things can not and will not work properly, it is not a secret and no expectation, you can read my mind, so I will share them with you."More borders. All I have been authorized in this also knows about me. I'm open to everyone and anyone, but if you hurt me and I give you a chance and his loss after this is no more chances. Have been reached, that people will not change if they are not too, if you keep giving them a chance after chance really exists, so no point personally listen because they know that saying is away with him. I always Forgive those who have hurt me and let go with an open heart, e.g., "I wish all the love and happiness in the world, thank you for your time, shared with me."You say you Forgive, you can work on to achieving it. The forgiveness comes from within, only make it happen.It takes two to make the wheels move the relationship, we must accept all responsibility for, and fix the problem. Sometimes it is not only about another person that hurt us, the amendment, but will be enabled. It can be hard work because we can change attitudes and actions. Think of the consultation and therapy, if too many bumps in the way.Not that it changes the situation nitka power in the relationship and to make you feel like shit. You will not, if a user action nitka and intentions are sincere, she will be able to see them.Keep family and friends with him. If you need to talk about it, what we have mental health profession "unbiased trained individual to listen." You do not need anyone's approval because if you say that they love you, than you should always there to understand and maintain. People did not want My ex back in my life, but were supportive enough, to know to keep their mouths shut down their views and only to spread the love (thank you, are a true friend!).Always communicate calmly and rationally, or will only scare them and drive them away. Remember what the collected during the two and why fighting for, but do so mature way!Nothing is guaranteed in life we can only do what we can be as good as i understand. I don't know if this relationship will work and I don't care at all. Caring only that some things are too big, let the alarm and that the chance for a life of true happiness is when Anger, jealousy and distrust are left; and compassion and love have taken their place.
Alex Karydi ~ Lesbian Guru
I am an internationally Certified drug and alcohol counselor, who has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT issues. I write to Examiner.com as their expert relationship Lesbian and'm featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to run the movement towards a healthier and more supportive Community! If you can find each other, LGBTs learn from each other and build a stronger system of support. Alone, I'm on a personal exploration in the discovery of a healthier relationship of gays and self-fulfillment.
If you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to e-mail me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as a title or follow me on my http://thelesbianguru.com/Blog! Or simply Join The Lesbian Revolution of health and Love at http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru
No comments:
Post a Comment